Internet Rap Battles #1- Ghost vs. Henry David Thoreau

In the first in our series of internet rap battles, we pit Henry David Thoreau, master of nonconformity and poetic idealist, against Ghost, the curmudgeonly host of True Capitalist Radio, self proclaimed "not-a-racist", and True Capitalist. I (rocknrollrocksout) play Thoreau, while Nick plays ghost. The audio is not perfect but this is just a test run, a "pilot" if you will, so keep that in mind when attempting to shower the comments section with endless invective. Leave any request for future internet rap battles below. We prefer internet meme characters, and people who are easy to costume as. We will pick the next battle of off your requests if you have good ones, although we have 5 pre-written battles that I am organizing the costumes for. Coming soon also is the end of 2011 RROROFL awards, hosted byMe, Joey, Nick, Ricky, and Mike. Thanks to Yuyang and Joey for camerawork in this video, subscribe to Joey at JoeWithTheGlasses.

Lyrics:

HDT
Welcome to Walden, I'll let your lazy self take a seat
It's time for this fat racist to at last smell defeat
You gotta believe in Nature, It's the meaning of life
So join the nonconformity and put down that knife
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I'm the poet with the most
I'll call Emerson and Hawthorne to join this roast
Of the man they call Ghost

Ghost
I'm not a racist, I kid you not!
It's baller Friday and you're missing the plot
Keep your nature and your ponies right out of my face
While I melt yours off on behalf of the American race
You condescending, hypocritical, lazy, crazy fool
Man you got fired teaching elementary school!
If you speak once more I'll slam your face to the floor
And then we'll both be happy since you can kiss the ground more

HDT
How you gonna hurt me with your 17 views?
I'm the 1800s Shakespeare, you've got less yays than boos
Imma spot the majority that is your annoyance
And amaze all my readers with my lyrical flamboyance
Man, I'm surprised you've let me speak for more than 2 seconds
Better look over that Horizon while your liver failure beckons.

Ghost
God, is this what our country has come to?
It'd take less than Rebecca Black to defeat you
Why don't you start loving your ambitions more than ferrets
And why don't you go conform and live with your parents
Oh wait, you already have
You're freaking making me laugh
I'll throw you into a woodchipper in this pearl-shooting fest
And make your ears bleed like a true capitalist!

GAME REVIEW: Battlefield 3

Not a bad game. 

MUSIC: The Top 10 Beatles Songs

Due to the Beatles being one of (if not the) greatest music artists of all time, I have decided to make a list of my ten favorite Beatles songs. These songs, requested by some of my friends, are the Beatles songs that I believe are the most artistic, well-made, and great to listen to Beatles songs. I will be making many of these top 10 (sometimes top 25 or top 50) lists, so stay tuned.

10. "Strawberry Fields Forever"

Lennon sings about how "living is easy with eyes closed" in this lyrical wonder-wall. While it's nothing to get hung about, Strawberry Fields is a musical wonder and a joy to listen to, psychedelically classical and epically colorful.

9. "Something"

Ringo gives the performance of his life in a music video accompanying a fountain of romance and doubt with a smooth melody and wonderful Harrison guitar solo.

8. "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

A song so influential Shatner covered it and they named a caveman after it, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds is a perfectly confusing and mind-blowingly creative song with underlying messages of all sorts that don't even need to be analyzed to know that Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is a roller-coaster of an emotional masterpiece.

7. "I've Got a Feeling"

A feeling deep inside told me to put this on the list. Better than the Black Eyed Peas' average party hit, I've Got a Feeling is awesome, plain and simple. Everybody had a bad year, but everybody had a good time, according to Lennon, and McCartney "has a feeling". None of this really matters, however, because the song is so brilliant in it's simplicity and its excellent guitar playing.

6. "Revolution"

An anthem so rocking, so rolling, and so communist-trolling that it couldn't be left out of the list, Revolution was the choice for my 8th grade music video project, and I have no regrets. Everything is always gonna be alright in rock-and-roll as long as Revolution is there to guide musicians with it's pristine guitar solos and sheer capacity for multimedia productions.

5. "I Want You (She's So Heavy)"

The Beatles' heaviest song is also their most simplistic- the same 14 words repeated over practically the same (save the odd solo) guitar work for almost seven minutes. The song fundamentally should fail due to its banality, but it succeeds because what little it gives it gives so fruitfully. It is long and winding, tumultuous and addictive, a song that proves the musical integrity of the Beatles with no want of color.

4. "Come Together"

The perfect accompaniment to a "shoot of coca-cola", Come Together is funky, political, crazy, calming, angering, delighting, enlightening, meaningful, meaningless, and brilliant before it even starts playing. A gigantically fantastic song, Come Together is the most head-bangable of all of the Beatles' songs, and a true example of just how well the Beatles worked together, even under pressure (although that list is for another time).

3. "Hey Jude"

A lengthy ballad about love and optimism, Hey Jude is one of the most well-remembered Beatles songs and is the one of the most hackneyed due to being overplayed. Still, Hey Jude continues to be a classic, a thoroughly enjoyable song with the greatest tangent in music history.

2. "A Day in the Life"

A lyrical giant, musical dragon, and a conveyor belt of amazement, A Day in the Life is the greatest Lennon-McCartney coalition- it is soothing, moving, grooving, and, most importantly, great to listen to. Lennon sings softly of his aloof live experiences, and half way through McCartney bursts in with a spectacle of upbeat psychedelia, only to be replaced again by Lennon. The exuberant song ends with a lengthy musical tornado and a combination of a dozen booming pianos.

1. "I am the Walrus"

I am the Walrus is sheer brilliance. It is musically entertaining, with roaring violin and Ringo's thumping drums. It doesn't need a message to bring across it's musical euphoria- in fact Lennon wrote the song to confuse song analysts (including his old music teacher). This song of the upmost trollery is my favorite because it is simple and complicated, random and robust, angry and happy. It is sheer quality, a song that never gets old listening to. This song's case for being my #1 is definitely not unassisted by the fact that my favorite band, Oasis, made a superb cover of the song. I am the Egg-man, they are the Egg-men, I am the Walrus!

GAME REVIEW: The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

        Spearheading a year of evolution, revolution, and profound gaming excellence, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is a pristine role-playing game that gets almost everything right. What Skyrim doesn't do right, it does it in the rightest way possible, allowing for an experience beyond anything ever before expressed in the gaming world.
        As a gamer, I have tended to go for more casual, easy-going, multiplayer centric games in recent times, playing games like LittleBgPlanet, Fifa, and Rock Band (although I have played Infamous and Uncharted). For this reason, Skyrim was a completely new experience for me. Having never touched an Elder Scrolls game, Skyrim made me feel somewhat left out from a long-running tale of lore, myth, and fantasy. Luckily, this game is idiosyncratic enough to allow gamers to jump in and play, as it refers to ancient lore from previous games while containing a Lord-of-the-Rings-esque story if it's own. Skyrim's graphics are solid, it's music flawless, and it's gameplay astounding. But what makes Skyrim stand out is not it's production value or it's thrilling combat, it's Skyrim's awe-inspiring amount of missions, allowing hundreds of hours to be drafted into the game- each of of them more exciting than the last.
   
     GRAPHICS
     Bethesda's games are not usually noted for their graphical intensity, but they have always been solid. Everything in Skyrim is polished and the world looks amazing in it's full wonder. Some parts if the game are prone to glitches, with the odd frame-rate stumble now and again that becomes more frequent as the game progresses and the save file enlarges. With this easily patchable flaw aside, however, Skyrim is graphically impressive- it's presentable, atmospheric, and well-toned.

     SOUND & MUSIC
     It is impressive how Bethesda had the time to put in over 100 locations, 1000 missions, dozens of dragon boss fights and thousands of NPCs into a game and still produce an astounding soundtrack. One of my friends actually mistook the sounds of my brother playing Skyrim for the music from the Lord of the Rings- revealing the power of the music, the epic symphonies that are instrumental to the behemoth that is Skyrim. This titanic soundtrack is boosted by good weapon sounds, great ambient effects, and fitting (yet increasingly repetitive) voiceovers.

     STORY
     In Skyrim you get to create your own character. You choose the looks and race and name, and then begin life as an adventurer. The story takes place in the titular realm, Skyrim, where a bloody civil war is raging, only made worse by the revival of the long dead dragon race. You, the last of the almighty "dragon borns" must use your power of the "voice"- the language of dragons, to use "shouts"- dragon powers, to defeat the dragons and put an end to the madness. On the way you can help out many of the local Jarls (akin to mayors or governors) of towns, become Thanes (nobles) of towns, help out civilians, join guilds (The Thieves Guild, the Companions Warrior Guild, The Dark Brotherhood, and many more). Along the way you'll do missions in a plethora of locations, buy horses, houses, weapons, items, armor, food and animals, and tone your skills in fighting, magic, lock-picking, and many other areas. You can even get married, become a student, and fight villains from trolls to vampires, You'll meet witches, mammoths, pilgrims, salesmen, and priests, and you'll go to and escape jail, bribe guards, and hire guards of your own. Skyrim is something else- a game that could only be gotten if you went to an alchemy lab and mixed Fallout, The Sims, Grand Theft Auto, Lord of the Rings, and Final Fantasy into one game and multiplied it by ten. Skyrim is 9000 times better than Duke Nukem Forever and it spent half the time to create. It's incredible.

     GAMEPLAY
     Control-wise, Skyrim is nothing new- L1 and R1 are the attack buttons (each hand respectively), and each can be equipped to combat weapons or magic powers (however there are powerful but slow two-handed weapons). Players can use first or third person, and have the ability to pick up items, talk with people, jump, run (a stamina bar checks this), wait, sleep, move items, sneak, lock-pick, attack, travel to locations, shoot arrows in first person, train in skills, absorb dragon souls, do magic, climb mountains, swim, aim, steal, cheat, lie, help, and heal all with the use of a fathomable control system. The combat is fun- although I think the melee combat is superior to the bow and arrow combat. You can explore catacombs, castles, dungeons, shops, houses, fortresses, lakes, rivers, mountains, barrows, farms, mills, mines and villages, on the way killing bandits, hunting deer, rampaging as a were-wolf (you read that right), doing good deeds for the king, and, of course, dragon-slaying. The game has an autosave feature and a manual save one, the manual one working to the players' advantage the majority of the time, and players can travel on foot, in carriage, on horse, or through teleportation depending on the location or the availability of transport. Weapons vary- axes, swords, daggers, bows, war hammers, and shovels among others, and destruction magic, dragon shouts, and good ol' fight-fightin' are also always avilable. Magic powers are upgraded and discovered as the game progresses, and range from healing to creating light to summoning the ghosts of animals (akin to Potter's patronuses). As missions continue, new options become available, and your inventory largens. Watch out as there is a weight limit (a good reason to buy a house to store stuff in). To talk of the gameplay in full would be to write a 900-page novel, but you get the picture.

     REPLAY VALUE
     Overall, Skyrim is devastating to the chances of a better RPG to be made anytime soon, but I know nothing of RPGS and I've heard a lot of hype about Mass Effect 3. With a millennium of gameplay available here, gamers really couldn't do better.

MUSIC: The Top 10 Songs of 2011

Musically, 2011 was moderately good. It was a year of rises and returns, breakthroughs and breakups. My favorite band, Oasis, split apart and created two equally impressive bands- Liam Gallagher's raw Beady Eye and Noel Gallagher's reserved High Flying Birds. Adele was most impressive, stunning with a phenomenal album and topping both of Rolling Stone's best of the year (albums and songs) lists. The Beastie Boys and The Red Hot Chili Peppers both made fantastic comebacks, with innovative yet faithful musical adventures, and the radically annoying yet interestingly moving Dub-step genre was processed. NicePeter successfully continued his Epic Rap Battles Series, bringing it to new comedic heights and prepping for  Season 2 coming soon, and The Lonely Island's "Turtle Neck and Chain" album was mightily entertaining. Without further ado, here are the 10 best songs of 2011 in my opinion.

Honorable Mentions:
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, "Everybody's on the Run"
Leslie David Baker, "2 Be Simple"
The Lonely Island, "Jack Sparrow"


10. Alex S. ft. Ghost, "Melting Pot of Alcohol"

The only dubstep song of the year that I liked was also the funniest, combining the atrocity of Friendship is Magic with the creativity of the internet  and the hilarity that is the Texas radio host Ghost, a racist "not-a-racist" whose trolling has been some of the funniest in internet history. Alex S' spectacular dub-step combine with the violent southern accent of Ghost to create a captivating ballad for the ages.

9. The Lonely Island, "Threw it on the Ground"

Andy Sandberg's outrageously funny yet surprisingly clean raging vocal fable melted together rants against "the system" and outbursts against the fundamental objects of life- objects to be thrown violently onto the ground. Unrefined, Sandberg goes on a devastating rampage, spanking the ground with cakes, phones, hotdogs, and a plethora of other objects. Eventually, however, the story is moralized- Sandberg is tazed by "Hollywood phonies" Ryan Reynolds and Elijah Wood- after rejecting an autograph they didn't even offer.

8. Beady Eye, "The Roller"

Liam Gallagher's solo endeavor was a nostalgic one, combining the feel-good effervescence of the Beatles with the somewhat youthful and punkish tone of Liam's side of Oasis. The Roller has the feel of a Lennon song (in fact the melody is from a Lennon song), with a beautifully old-fashioned music video with a hint of futurism. While Liam's songwriting is not in the same league as that of his brother Noel, "The Roller" proves his melodic intuition and his sheer lust for rock and roll.

7. Coldplay, "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"

Coldplay had a sort of rebirth this year with the shockingly original Mylo Xyloto album. The album's main single, an uplifting tune of the grace of music screamed above a blissful guitar, is creative and effective, and will undoubtedly become an arena anthem for young people to scream for years to come.

6. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, "The Death of You and Me"

The second half of Oasis, Noel Gallagher presented an outstanding new album this year, my personal favorite album of the year, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds. A promising start to the child band of Oasis, The High Flying Birds' album proves just how fundamentally different Noel and Liam were in Oasis. Calm, joyful, orchestral, and quietly loud, Noel's band is the superior of the two in both songwriting and sheer listenability. "The Death of You and Me" presents a somewhat familiar Noel song- but one that spearheads the superb album and brings out Noel's true inner ability.

5. SuperHeavy, "Miracle Worker"

The most pretentious and the most courageous song of the year, "Miracle Worker" is a spectacle of true brilliance. The outrageous Mick Jagger (the only man with moves like himself, by the way), the delighting David "Brother Gong" Marley and the powerful Joss Stone combine with the musical greats A.R. Rahman and Dave Stewart to produce a single of monumental soul. Jagger screams of how his "love laser" will "regenerate your heart" in this funky reggae hit that is certainly not just a gimmick.

4. Foster the People, "Pumped Up Kicks"

A pop anthem with a disturbing underlying message, "Pumped Up Kicks" is a seemingly happy song when listened to by those who don't realize its about youth violence. This should stay this way, as the nascent group Foster the People have created an ecstatic song that works auditory wonders with its innocent simplicity and brilliant tune.

3. Beastie Boys, "Make Some Noise"

Who'd have thought that old people could rap? Well, at least the Beastie Boys can. In their first vocal single for a while, the Beastie Boys spit out some intense rhymes over a star-studded music video of unmatched swag. The Beastie Boys yell at their followers to "party for the (...) right to fight" while practically listing reasons why they are the best rappers in town. And rightly so.

2. Adele, "Rolling in the Deep"




By far the strongest female singer on the scene today, Adele and her utterly fantastic "Rolling in the Deep" make all of the other female singles (Lady Gaga, etc.) look (and sound) like they are literally rolling in the derp. A beautiful voice screaming lyrics of nuclear anger and powerful perfection, "Rolling in the Deep" is a true ballad for our time. The Thornberry remix might just have it beat, though.

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie"

Overcoming the remarkable Adele, hilarious Beastie Boys, and both sides of Oasis, the Chili Peppers, minus the legendary guitarist John Fruciante and plus a new level of spirit, have released the best song of the year- a rockin' guitar anthem of meticulous funk and a moustachin' beat. By far the most entertaining song of the year. 

QUICK REVIEW: "Filler 2" is Intensely Difficult

Filler 2
Click to play this game.

"Filler" was a great game, a flash game where you had to fill up 2/3 of the screen with balls. Now Filler 2 is out, and it's even greater. With an all new challenge mode, this game is certainly recommended.

EDITORIAL: 2011 in Film

With the end of the year and the 2011 RROROFL awards coming up, I thought it proper to make an overview of the films that I saw this year in theaters. Admittedly, 2011 was not one of the strongest years for movies. Screens were littered with sour sequels, pointless remakes, and a plethora of downright awful cash-ins. This year it was gaming that took the spotlight, but that isn't to say that there weren't any good films out this year. In this editorial, I will split the 32 new films I saw this year into categories based on how god they were: Superb, Good, OK, and Awful, and announce the seven films competing for this year's Best Film RROROFL. The best and worst films will have descriptions, while the middling films will just have the names. Note: I have not yet seen Sherlock Holmes 2 or Tintin, and I expect I will like both of them enough to give them a nomination, but since they are not out I cannot. 

Superb Films
Rango (RROROFL Nominee)

This spectacular animated film from Nickelodeon was a breath of fresh air- a mouthwateringly beautiful cartoon shown in traditional 2D and owning an omniscient flair that set it apart from all of the other animated flicks this year. With superb voice acting, exciting action, and a tremendously funny screenplay, Rango was definitely the surprise critical success of the year.






Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (RROROFL Nominee)

The final film in J.K. Rowling's phenomenal Harry Potter series was also the most fast-paced and watchable movie of the series. It was a perfect end to the series, combining top-notch acting with impeccable production design and clever dialogue. Hopefully, this will win some Oscars.


X-Men: First Class (RROROFL Nominee)

Marvel's new "We'll do things properly" idea worked varyingly well this year, although all of the studio's films were at least decent. X-Men: First Class, the only prequel of the three Marvel films this year, was also the best. With suave acting and a fun production, First Class was a powerful Marvel film, although does the announcement of a new Spiderman film foreshadow the downfall of superhero cinema?








Super 8 (RROROFL Nominee)

Spielberg, you've done it again. While not wholly original in my opinion, Super 8 was a fun ride and somewhat nostalgic of older kids films. Gritty but witty and fast-paced yet fully emotional, Super 8 was a terrific sci-fi film. If only all family films today were like this.




The Beaver (RROROFL Nominee)

While not very popular in real life this year, Mel Gibson shone on the screen in Jodie Foster's "The Beaver", an enlightening drama about a depressed man who finds both happiness and pain in a beaver hand puppet. The film explores schisms in modern families and how anyone can be affected by depression (Gibson's character is a CEO).






The Green Hornet (RROROFL Nominee)

Seth Rogen is awesome, Jay Chou is slyly funny, and Christoph Waltz is fantastically absurd in this thrilling and fun "superhero" movie. One of the better movies in 2011's early months, The Green Hornet is well worth watching.






Paul (RROROFL Nominee)

Simon Pegg & Nick Frost once again proved their worth in Paul, another film with a hilarious Seth Rogen performance that showed just how well Pegg and Frost could write without legendary Edgar Wright. I watched Paul more (5) times than any other film this year. It was a bit over the top (especially with the profanity-related jokes), but overall it was awesome.




Attack the Block

Another film starring Nick Frost, Attack the Block was a crazy sci-fi film that was actually very timely, showing well the struggles of bored youth on the streets of London. The aliens were actually original this time (completely black monkeys with only their blue teeth visible in the dark), and the action was both hilarious and awesome.




In Time

With a few plot holes here and there, In Time shied away from perfection, and was no "Inception". But Timberlake's promising performance was highlighted and the film was deviously original, possibly the next source for science memes. (Although I don't think it was influential enough for that).








Limitless

A fast-paced film with solid acting, intense action, and a triumphant ending. One for the blu-rays with it's stunningly good editing.

Hanna
A very interesting and funny film about a girl who escapes the CIA and lives a continued and confused life on the run. A great movie about power, survival, and friendship.









Johnny English Reborn

A superior sequel to the first Johnny English movie, Reborn is not amazing but has enough funny scenes to keep kids and parents laughing throughout. A great warmup for the upcoming bond film.









Arthur Christmas

The best Christmas film since The Polar Express. What else could you expect from Aardman? This film answers all questions about how Santa does it (although later somewhat refutes them). It is cute, intelligently written, and gorgeously animated.









Good Films:

• Captain America: The First Avenger
• Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
• Thor
• Kung Fu Panda 2
• Cars 2
• Horrible Bosses (Would be excellent if not for Jennifer Aniston trying too hard)
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
• Arthur
• Real Steel

Ok Films:

• Transformers 3
• Cowboys & Aliens
• Rio

Awful Films:

• Your Highness
• Battle: LA
• I am Number 4
• Zookeeper
• Gnomeo & Juliet
• Hop

Worst Film of the Year:

Hoodwinked Too!: Hood vs. Evil

If you were to mix every rage comic in the world, Tommy Wiseau's "The Room", the thought you get when you lose the game, MLP and 4chan into one movie, it would tower above this. Hoodwinked Too is absolutely despicable, with 90's animation quality and a horrible story. Don't ever see this. Buy your kids Rango or take them to see Arthur Christmas. 

FILM REVIEW: "In Time" Is Confusing but Thrilling

   
     When I first saw the commercial for In Time, a film where Olivia Wilde plays the mother of Justin Timberlake, I was, in a picture-

     The concept behind In Time is intriguing. Timberlake plays Will Salas, a man who lives in the year 2161, where human genetics has been adapted so that everybody can live to 25 years old immune to disease, but when they turn 25, they have only one year left to live- a year that shows on a countdown clock on their arm. But wait, there's more. Time is the only currency, so the broke are dead and the poor live "day to day". The rich are immortal, but they don't live because they don't want to risk getting their time being stolen. So it's paradoxical- the poor die and the rich don't live, as character Slyvia Weis puts it. "In Time" may be the most mind-boggling film since Inception, but it's just as entertaining. Timberlake proves he can act and In Time proves to be an intense and watchable movie. 

     The plot is basically this- a random rich man who has a century of time left decides he has had enough of immortality and gives all of his time to Timberlake, killing himself. Timberlake then sets off to practically pull a Robin Hood- steal the million years that world's richest man Philipe Weis has. To sum up, I don't want to spoil any of the plot, but it's interesting and you should watch it. 

     Visually, the film is good. It's no Avatar or Inception, but it works for what it's doing. The dialogue isn't spectacular, but the acting is done well. The music is nothing special, but it is music. 

    Overall, "In Time" is a great film that sci-fi fans all over should watch. 

TV SHOW REVIEW: "Top Shot" Hits the Bullseye in Third Season

     History Channel's "Top Shot" has been one of my favorite shows ever since it started in 2010. The show highlights the skills in marksmanship of 16 competitors who get placed on two teams-red and blue- and compete for a $100,000 prize. The show is creative in it's challenges and it really allows viewers to take allegiances to certain competitors with it's superb skill levels and entertaining behind-the-scenes drama. The first season, one in which a Brit, Iain, won, was fun and exciting. The second season (actually the first one I watched) was outstanding, although the series lost many fans when they seemed to put drama in front of marksmanship (I disagree, but that is what the fans who left thought). Now fall 2011 brings the third season of top shot- but does it continue the superb trend the series have set, or does it fall flat?
     To sum up, Top Shot blows away with it's third season. The show brings back a lot of the old favorite weapons, and the final episode has, as usual, the exact same challenges, but the new things brought to the table are astounding. Now the challenges are much more team-oritented and physical, including rope climbing, log carrying, crawling under barbed wire into mud, and traversing obstacle courses while shooting. Additionally, new weapon challenges have been added that bring diversity to the table- players now must bounce arrows off ramps into a target, fire gattling guns and cannons, and shoot targets on a 50 feet tall rotating circle.
     The contestants this year are some of the most energetic and entertaining yet. The winner, Dustin, may just be the best shooter I've ever seen- with a perfect run on almost all challenges. Jake Zweig, a football coach and former Navy Seal with an attitude, is the funniest contestant on a game show since Elise in Hell's Kitchen and it is amazing how messed up his mind is (trust me, it is shocking some of the things he does). There is also nice guy Gary Quesenberry, who competes in the show against his best friend Jarrett Grimes, and Mike Hughes, the first competitor to be let back into the competition after elimination.
    To sum up, Top Shot's third season impresses in all levels. A flawless season, Top Shot Season 3 is not to be missed.

BOOK REVIEW: Moby-Dick by Herman Melville

An eloquent tale of whaling, teamwork, and revenge, Herman Melville's novel, Moby Dick,  the epic of Massachusetts, is truly epic. While unpopular in its day, Moby Dick is currently regarded as an all-time classic, and while plagued with minor style and flaw issues, is definitely an excellent book that everyone should read.

Moby Dick follows a plethora of characters in its 135 chapters and 479 pages- swapping between first and third person and limited and omniscient perspectives voraciously throughout the novel. The book starts with the story of Ishmael (the opening words "Call Me Ishmael" being symbolic of the novel), a man looking for a job who happens upon the Pequod, (albeit with horrible pay) a whiling ship run, but not owned, by the vindictive Captain Ahab, minus one leg and plus a vendetta for the notorious whale Moby Dick, a white monstrosity that is seldom sighted but incontrovertibly real and deviously powerful. Through soliloquies, monumental descriptions, and intense dialogue, Melville delivers the mental and physical battles between Ahab, the capitalist crew of the Pequod who signed up for money and had no intentions  of a circumnavigating rat race (until money is put into the equation), and the vast biological landscape of the ocean with it's great White Whale, Moby Dick.

Pros

• End Abruptly and Violently
• Humorous in its cultural differences
• Excellent Character Study
• The White Whale is a beast

Cons

• Superbly Lengthy with mostly description
• Random way of Storytelling
• Makes one lose the game

BOOK REVIEW: MogWorld by Yahtzee Croshaw

Mogworld is an interesting concept in many ways. First of all, this book was written by Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw, popular video game critic known for his fast-paced, well-edited, and tear-jerkingly funny video reviews at theescapistmagazine.com. Second, this book is set inside of a MMORPG, with the main character being a self-aware, undead NPC called Jim. But is MogWorld an uninteresting slog of a novel, or does Yahtzee deliver an exciting read? The latter is definitely the close answer. Yahtzee has delivered here, and surprised on all levels- creating a novel that has relatable characters, intense action, and, most of all, a story that doesn't totally rely on Yahtzee's, I'm sure vast, array of video game knowledge, but allows a sprinkling of video game references to move it along.

The story is extremely original and enticing. Jim, a lowly mage at a sub-par mage school, is killed in a war with another magic school- only to be resurrected by dark necromancer Lord Deagrave, along with a multitude of other dead from the graveyard in which he was buried. Jim instantly becomed part of a legion of zombies working from Deadgrave- although not mindless slaves. In one of the most entertaining dialogues I've read in a long while, the zombies negotiate their benefits with Deagrave. Jim, however, is unhappy with his new life after seeing the peace and quiet that "heaven" has to offer. He immediately attempts to jump off of Deadgrave's tower- an action which does little to the undead (instead of dying, his body is just destroyed). Luckily, another undead, Meryl, is there (and continues to be there throughout the story) to help him out, and Jim starts to like life as a pillaging, torturing (not raping- although a sheep is mentioned) zombie minion. However, his happiness doesn't last for long, as Deadgrave's fortress, along with all the undead, gets "deleted" by angel-like beings- leaving only Jim, Meryl, and Thaddeus- an Undead-hating priest who is undead, to escape. And so begins the trio's journey to discover their purpose of Deadgrave's "Deletion". I won't delve too deep into the rest of the plot as to refrain from spoilers, but the gist of the story is that, while the zombies are undead and they just decay and don't die, everyone else is immortal, gaining new bodies when they die from "The Infusion". Most of the other characters are "Adventurers"- people who do quests for points- and some of them have "The Syndrome"- meaning they don't communicate- just "adventure". There is also a priest, Barry, who is working with the deleter angels to eradicate Jim and his undead friends. Barry is arguably the best character.

Other involved characters are Slippery John- s third-person talking adventurer in love with a syndrome victim, Mr. Wonderful, a bounty hunter (or a con-man, I'm confused as to his character, but he is a cannibal who eats his own old corpses, and is vital to the plot), his partner Bowg, a king who helps Jim but not really his kingdom, and various other fun characters like female pirate Captain Scar. What I love about Mogworld's characters is that they are extremely realistic and relatable- Yahtzee's dialogue writing is impecable. Jim himself is one of the most (at least mentally) realistic heroes (hmm... protagonist is a better word, as you'll find) of all modern fiction. The novel wonderfully shows that no one is ever really fully prepared for any situation- and while everything is done comically since it's a comedy, it could not have been more spot-on. And as far as pacing goes, the book keeps you guessing as the "suspensful" parts and zaps you through the intense action scenes. While it is a fantasy, everything is easy to visualize (likely due to it being based on World of Warcraft), and the moment when Jim sees the "Hud Menu" above every characters head is awesome. Yahtzee also includes emails between the creators of the MogWorld game. These are excellently done and help move the plot along nicely and add to the reader's questions. Finally, this book has a terrific epilogue- a written review of the MogWorld game.


Overall- MogWorld will never be a classic due to it's small amount of readers and complicated story. However, to fans of science fiction, comedy, fantasy, and, of course, gaming, MogWorld is a must-read, a truly fantastic piece of literature that entertains throughout.

FILM REVIEW: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

The end is here. (Possibly.) The eighth Harry Potter film, summing up the events of the last third of the Deathly Hallows novel, has arrived in theaters. I saw it in 2-D at the midnight showing, and I can say that it is easily the best novel adaptation since The Lord of the Rings series. The writing does justice to the novel, the action is great, and it's a fantastic piece of cinema that should definitely be given some academy awards. The film picks up exactly where the last one left off, and features Harry, Ron, and Hermione as they search for the remaining Horcruxes. As ever, the acting is not the film's strongest point, but characters like Neville, Snape, and McGonnigall give the best performances to date in the series. There are quite a few funny moments, mostly due to the writing, which again is the best to date in the series (save maybe Prisoner of Azkaban). From the get-go,   the action scenes are awesome, and the effects are great. Many casual Potter viewers who have not read the books will likely enjoy this final Potter more than the previous few, which were mostly expositional and had little action. The director also nails the drama sequences, with Alan Rickman pulling off the final revelation of Snape superbly. I would have liked there to be a bit more "cool down" at the end, as the film seems to end a bit too early after the end of Voldemort.

So, overall, is this the ending of Harry Potter we've been waiting for? The answer: yes. Deathly Hallows part 2 is an amazing ending to a brilliant series.

BOOK REVIEW: The Scarlet Letter (1840)

The Scarlet Letter, a classic American novel dealing with themes of sin and guilt, is a brilliantly written and meaningful novel. While it can be difficult to read for young people in the modern world, it is an interesting and entertaining novel after one gets past the archaic vocabulary and 1800s writing style. The author, Nathaniel Hawthorne, wrote this in the peak of his career, with impressive amounts of detail (although some detail, I find, is unnecessary). The imagery, similes, ad metaphors he used were used supremely.

Nathaniel conveys well lessons such as the consequences of seeking revenge and the importance of telling the truth rather than keeping secrets that burn inside oneself. He has created (or, in some places, conveyed) characters that are believable and show intense amounts of emotion. His descriptions of the highly religion-based structure of 1600s Boston is superb, and important scenes like that on the pillory, in the forest, and at the end on the scaffold, shine through as some of the most memorable scenes in American literature.

There are, however, some points which keep "The Scarlet Letter" from being perfect. First of all, the third person (sometimes limited, sometimes omniscient) point of view felt a bit jumpy at times, and I didn't think it had enough character development for characters like Roger Chillingsworth, or even heroine Hester Prynne, as I would like. The story of Hester seems to lose some importance when we find out (and it doesn't take long) that Arthur Dimmesdale has been hiding his half of the sin from the public. There just isn't enough suspense, it is too predictable. Also, it seemed that the character of Pearl wasn't used to full potential. It felt like she was just holding the plot back and had no real meaning. I'm not saying she was a character that was unneeded- she is the only reason the public knows of Hester's sin. But apart from that purpose, she was a   very underdeveloped character that could have played a more vital part in the plot.

Still, past the unused characters and easy to guess plot, the Scarlet Letter is a good book overall, a novel vital to American Literature that I am glad I read.

FILM REVIEW: Kung Fu Panda 2

Jack Black is back in the sequel to 2008's Kung Fu Panda, in Kung Fu Panda 2. KFP2 is considerably darker than the original in it's story, as Po finds out that he is adopted, and must defeat Lord Shen, the peacock who killed his Panda parents and wishes to conquer China. KFP2 has all of the same characters from the original that survived, and the action scenes are still awesome.

KFP2 has some of the same problems of the original- like having famous actors who don't have notable voices doing voice acting for it for really no reason. Also, the jokes in it are almost the exact same jokes from the first, and I didn't laugh once throughout the whole film. Still, in 3-D the film looks awesome, and while the story may be by-the book cliche, it is pretty strong and interesting throughout. The improved technology allows the action to be much more awesome than in the first, and the brilliant fight scenes overshadow the poor comedy.

The writers have clearly, by the film's ending, readied for a third film, although I hope that does not happen, knowing the outcome of making a 3rd Shrek film (a lot of jokes from Shrek in here, too). I hope they keep it to 2.

KFP2 is a strong film, in my opinion better than any other animated film this year, but the comedy has definitely been downgraded in the sequel. Still, awesome action scenes keep Po's adventures awesome.

TV SHOW REVIEW: Doctor Who: The Doctor's Wife

Last week's next-time trailer for the Doctor's Wife got me very excited for this week's episode. I already knew that the episode was to be called "The Doctor's Wife", and the next-time clip revealed that a time lord would call The Doctor for help on a planet. Sadly, the story ended up scrapping the whole time lord idea- The Doctor's still the only one left. But, the real story of the episode is still strong, written well by author Neil Gaiman.

So, on to the story. The Doctor opens the TARDIS doors to find a glowing white cube hovering in space. He is ecstatic to find that a time lord, "one of the good ones", has sent him a message, and so follows the cube outside of the universe, to a living planet (voiced by Michael Sheen). On the planet, the Doctor and gang meet the strange Auntie and Uncle, who turn out to be made up of strange time lord parts. Also living there are nephew, a stranded ood with a broken communications device, and a crazy lady. When the Doctor finds out that the Time Lord message was just a lie sent by the planet to lure the Doctor in, he sends Amy and Rory back to the Tardis and locks them in. He finds out that the planet lives on TARDIS energy, and that to get that energy, the planet must transfer the energy into   a body, the Doctor's Wife. The planet then begins to eat the TARDIS, but Rory persuades the planet that it would be much more fun to kill Amy and Rory slowly. The scenes where the planet tortures Amy and Rory in the TARDIS are very well done with great suspense and editing. I won't spoil too much more of the story, but it is pretty strong of a storyline.

So, is "The Doctor's Wife" good? Well, I consider it so. While I think that having Rory die AGAIN and the TARDIS and the Doctor being separated AGAIN, this time both of those have been handled in the most creative way possible. Having the Doctor meet the real love of his life, the TARDIS, in human form, is the best thing ever for him. The scenes between the Doctor and the TARDIS are extremely strong and the episode as a whole is intense, well-written, and overall brilliant. Also, you have to bear in mind that, even though Rory dies in this one again, one- it's only a trick the planet plays on Amy, and two- Neil Gaiman wrote this episode for series one originally but it was put back due to budget issues. So, if it had been last season, it would have been Rory's first death anyway. Also, it's great to see the Ood make a return, but I think that a deeper part of the story for the Ood would have been better than just having an Ood there just so the BBC could make use for it's costume collection. I was dissapointed that there wasn't at least one returning timelord, but, with Amy's baby regenerating and River Song revealing all her secrets soon (cliffhanger for mid-season break?), an extra timelord would probably have made a lot of mess. Also, great to see the use of the David Tennant TARDIS interior for one of the rooms of the TARDIS Amy and Rory get trapped in.

The episode ends strongly and emotionally, with the Doctor having to put the TARDIS' soul back inside the machine. Next week's episode looks interesting, being about clones (Sontaran Stratagem?) and living skin (cassandra). It may not be the most original episode, but it will be the series cliffhanger so let's hope it's strong.


Pros:

• Strong story
• Great Acting
• Continuity of stuff from older series throughout adds awesomness
• Michael Sheen

Cons:

• Doctor cut off from TARDIS and Rory dies, again

FLASH GAME REVIEW: Pandemic 2

Hello, this is rocknrollrocksout with a review of the flash game pandemic 2, which can be played here- http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/fullscreen.php?game=pandemic-2.

Both a game and a meme, Pandemic 2 is a game based on creating your own disease and infecting and killing all of the world's population. Sequel to the similar Pandemic game, Pandemic 2 is a basic yet very addictive game that will have players hooked.

At the start of the game, you are given a menu screen and can choose to start a game or watch tutorials. There are dozens of tutorials, but the game is pretty simple. Basically, you must buy and sell the right traits in order for your disease to spread quickly and infect the population. The rest is just waiting.

When you start a game, you have the choice of playing either "Realistic" or "Relaxed" mode, whichever you fancy. Basically, in relaxed mode the game ends relatively quickly and your disease evolves quickly, while in realistic you have to wait a hell of a long time for the game to finish. Next, you name your disease and choose a disease type- from Virus, Bacteria, and Parasite. Viruses evolve quickly but are easy for the government to stop, while parasites evolve slowly but are hard to catch. Bacteria, in my opinion the best choice, is a perfect fit in between the other two. Now you are ready to infect the population!

In Pandemic 2, the world is split into 21 zones (regions & countries). The aim of the game is to infect all of these zones and kill the population of them all, making them "forsaken zones". The hardest zone to infect, as represented by the "Shut Down Everything" meme, is Madagascar. Island like Madagascar, Japan, Cuba, and New Zealand can prevent your disease by shutting down ports, so to capture them you need to act fast.

The only real gameplay, however, in Pandemic 2, is choosing which traits you purchase for your disease. You have to choose your disease's symptoms, which increase disease infectivity and lethality but also add to visibility, and can also buy disease resistance factors, which help prevent government vaccines which can be administered and helps to spread the disease. Also, you can buy forms of transmission, which makes the disease more "mainstream".

So, now that you get the gameplay, let's talk about presentation. Since it's a flash game, Pandemic 2 looks a lot like flash. It is very well programmed and runs pretty smoothly, even on my slow computer. The music is atmospheric but it can be turned off if you wish to play your own music. Since it's flash, I wont delve too much more into the looks of the game. The menus are simple to use and everything works fine, so all is good.

As one of the most important games, in my opinion, in flash history, Pandemic 2 survives on as an addictive and fun-to-play game that will be remembered for all eternity by the interwebs. Since it's free, it's really your choice, and,  if you think it'll be fun, give Pandemic 2 a try.

TV SHOW REVIEW: Doctor Who: Curse of the Black Spot

After a confusing and plot-hole ridden, yet exciting opening two-parter to the sixth season of the new Doctor Who series, the series has almost completely moved away from all of the story arcs introduced in the first episode, and episode 3- The Curse of the Black Spot, written by Stephen Thompson, is a good old-fashioned historic story with a pirate theme and an extra-terrestrial "villain".

The episode begins with some pirates sailing on a pirate ship, as expected. The pirates, led by Henry Avery, who is played by Hugh Bonneville, are forced to sit and wait as there is no wind to move their ship and a homicidal mermaid siren is hunting off any of them who get cut and bleed. She marks the ones who she is going to "kill" with the black spot. Of course, the Doctor and friends stow away on the ship and help to save the day.

For most of the episode, the Doctor and friends wait as each pirate is one by one killed off by the siren, played by supermodel Lily Cole. Another inside story is the fight between captain Avery and his son, who has stowed away on board. I, however, found it confusing that, after not seeing or knowing where his father was for 3 years, he can just magically appear on board his ship. It's never explained. The best part of the episode is definitely when Rory gets slashed with a sword and becomes very attracted to the Siren, angering Amy by saying she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. (During adverts (or commercials for you Americans), in a Dctor Who insider, Stephen Moffat said "It's good that a Doctor Who has a scary monster, but this time's it's a big bonus that she's hot as well!"- adding 100% epicness to himself). There are many more of these siren attarction scenes, but Rory's is the best.

The Doctor eventually, with the help of Captain Avery, manages to figure out how and why the Siren has been taking the people. I won't spoil the ending, but I will tell you that it is explained in great Doctor Who sci-fi fashion, involving two overlapping parallel worlds. The pregnancy of Amy is touched upon at the end, and after saying goodbyes to the pirates, Doctor and crew get ready for their next adventure. The next time trailer is epic- the Doctor gets an invite from a timelord to have a meeting, the gang get trapped on a planet with a mysterious family , the ood are involved, and the episode is called "The Doctor's Wife", according to many Doctor Who news websites.

Pros:

• Many funny scenes, as Rory prefers the Siren to Amy and the Doctor and Avery fight for the role of Captain
• A great explanation to the Siren's purpose and where she's from
• Good piratey theme, gets us prepped for the upcoming pirates of the Caribbean 4. 
• Epic next time trailer
• Great cast (Lily Cole)

Cons:

• A couple plot holes- no explanation for how Avery's son got on board, some plot holes at the end that I don't want to spoil.
• Some continuity issues
• Repetitive story- similar things that have happened in previous episodes, just with a new  setting.

BOOK REVIEW- Life by Keith Richards

"Life", the autobiography by Keith Richards, guitarists of the rolling stones, is an eye-opening and revealing novel recommended to anybody who is a fan of the Rolling Stones or likes rock music. Written with the assistance of journalist James Fox, Life brilliantly describes the hilarious, dangerous, and extremely musical antics of Richards and the Stones, and masterfully details great stories of love, friendship, and Richards' addiction to music (as well as drugs). Richards includes stories of his troubled childhood, when his grandfather was his best friend, up to the formation of the stones, and to his life today. He lists the many important people in his life- the dozens Stones members over the years, and his many musical friends. Each chapter is around 50 pages long, concluding in a 545-page novel filled with interesting tales. His great sense of humor shows, and the good grammar insinuates Fox's work on the book. An all-round amazing novel, Life is a must-read, recommended for anyone who likes rock n roll music.

Pros:

• Great anecdotes and stories of Richards' Life
• Well-edited, no grammar mistakes (Fox's work, surely)
• Hilarious throughout and eye-opening of how good a man Richards really is
• Superb insight into the world of rock n roll
• Increases one's love of the Stones' music

Cons:

• Not appropriate for younger readers
• Some chapters can drag on a bit

GAME REVIEW: LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars PS3

Last week, I purchased LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars for the PS3. It took me about 5 days and 25 hours of gameplay to complete the game fully, including 100% on-game completion and the platinum trophy (my first platinum). Now I bring you my review, the first review for the shoulders of Firey Vengeance blog, in both video and written form. 

Lego Star Wars III costs only $49.99 new at gamestop, a $10 downgrade from most other newly released PS3 games. This is both good and bad news. While it does allow many more to access the game easier, it also shows a considerable downgrade in the confidence TT Games have with their series. Still, the upcoming release of LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean shows that TT are relentless and diverse in the production of their games. 

I hope that LEGO Pirates does well in its own right, but today I'm here to talk about LEGO Star Wars III (Although it is actually the fourth in the series, technically). LSW3 is a giant step forward from the previous LEGO games, and a small nudge forward from last year's excellent LEGO Harry Potter (Expect a sequel 3rd or 4th quarter).  While the ability to design customized levels and any online option are omitted, other new features bring the game forward in a new and improved direction. 

The first new thing I noticed about LSW3 is that it is abundant in content. Dozens of characters, including all of your favorites from the TV show, some returning characters from the movies (you unlock characters such as Vader and even Vader's Apprentice from collecting all the mini kits on a level) , and the ability to make your own custom characters, up to 18.

 Also, there is a giant boost level-wise. This time around, levels are bigger, more difficult (especially on the true-jedi front, if you don't get score x2), and, unlike some of the abominations of levels filling the blasphemy of a tribute in LEGO Indiana Jones 2, more true to the series. The cutscenes capture and lighten some of the great moments from the series, and, as a rare watcher of the show, make those who haven't had the chance to see the show more curious of the actually, pretty good series. In addition, a new mode, named "Assault" has been added. This mode is reminiscent of Star Wars Battlefront's galactic conquest mode. Although not as long-lived, completionists and those looking for an extra challenge will have their time taken up capturing bases (Basically command posts, except captured slightly differently), destroying statues of Yoda and Grievous, and building escape pods. There are a bunch of these missions, too many to count, and they are available as both republic and separatist campaigns. While fulfilling (and a requirement to get that prestigious gold brick collecting trophy), these levels are extremely repetitive and tedious, and take up hours of time better used when playing story levels. Another refreshing feature is the great new ability to both fly starships and walk on land in two levels. 

The main hub of the game is ridiculously over-done this time around. You can travel between two ships, the republic and separatist ships, and visit countless numbers of rooms. Some can only be unlocked by collecting a certain amount of gold bricks, which are rewarded when you complete, get true-jedi, or get all minikits on a level, and when you complete a bounty hunter mission or assault mission. the game isn't particularly hard, especially now that the red bricks are much easier to get (you don't even have to pay for something if you type in the code for it, and you'll still get the collect all red-brick trophy). Still, it's more difficult than previous games. Also, there are gold brick missions to do in between the two hub ships, where you can fly vehicles. 

All that's really left to talk about are the graphics, which are awesome. It's 10 times more HD that the previous lego games, and the lighting effects are superb. The game is almost completely glitch-free, although I had to restart my PS3 a couple times since there was so much content on the screen at once (they can now have like 500 characters on screen at once). Sound-wise, nothing much has changed, except for the addition of terrible elevator music on the republic HUB ship and awesome elevator music on the separatists HUB ship. The camera is not different from that of LEGO Harry Potter, and is pretty solid, at least in comparison to LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga. 

Overall, LSW3: The Clone Wars is a solid game, and a vast improvement over it's predecessors, especially in content amount. There are still improvements to be made, but TT Games have definitely taken the right step. 

Pros:

• An amazing amount of new content and gameplay modes
• Graphics have gotten a much needed boost
• Stays much closer to the parent TV-series than other LEGO games
• More difficult this time around

Cons:

• Republic elevator music sucks
• A lot of content creates glitches
• Assault missions are tedious
• Camera issues

Shoulders of Firey Vengeance Intro

Hello and Welcome to The Shoulders of Firey Vengeance blog. Here is an intro video. Sorry for the bad quality, my chroma key wasn't working too well.