Internet Rap Battles #1- Ghost vs. Henry David Thoreau

In the first in our series of internet rap battles, we pit Henry David Thoreau, master of nonconformity and poetic idealist, against Ghost, the curmudgeonly host of True Capitalist Radio, self proclaimed "not-a-racist", and True Capitalist. I (rocknrollrocksout) play Thoreau, while Nick plays ghost. The audio is not perfect but this is just a test run, a "pilot" if you will, so keep that in mind when attempting to shower the comments section with endless invective. Leave any request for future internet rap battles below. We prefer internet meme characters, and people who are easy to costume as. We will pick the next battle of off your requests if you have good ones, although we have 5 pre-written battles that I am organizing the costumes for. Coming soon also is the end of 2011 RROROFL awards, hosted byMe, Joey, Nick, Ricky, and Mike. Thanks to Yuyang and Joey for camerawork in this video, subscribe to Joey at JoeWithTheGlasses.

Lyrics:

HDT
Welcome to Walden, I'll let your lazy self take a seat
It's time for this fat racist to at last smell defeat
You gotta believe in Nature, It's the meaning of life
So join the nonconformity and put down that knife
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I'm the poet with the most
I'll call Emerson and Hawthorne to join this roast
Of the man they call Ghost

Ghost
I'm not a racist, I kid you not!
It's baller Friday and you're missing the plot
Keep your nature and your ponies right out of my face
While I melt yours off on behalf of the American race
You condescending, hypocritical, lazy, crazy fool
Man you got fired teaching elementary school!
If you speak once more I'll slam your face to the floor
And then we'll both be happy since you can kiss the ground more

HDT
How you gonna hurt me with your 17 views?
I'm the 1800s Shakespeare, you've got less yays than boos
Imma spot the majority that is your annoyance
And amaze all my readers with my lyrical flamboyance
Man, I'm surprised you've let me speak for more than 2 seconds
Better look over that Horizon while your liver failure beckons.

Ghost
God, is this what our country has come to?
It'd take less than Rebecca Black to defeat you
Why don't you start loving your ambitions more than ferrets
And why don't you go conform and live with your parents
Oh wait, you already have
You're freaking making me laugh
I'll throw you into a woodchipper in this pearl-shooting fest
And make your ears bleed like a true capitalist!

MUSIC: The Top 10 Beatles Songs

Due to the Beatles being one of (if not the) greatest music artists of all time, I have decided to make a list of my ten favorite Beatles songs. These songs, requested by some of my friends, are the Beatles songs that I believe are the most artistic, well-made, and great to listen to Beatles songs. I will be making many of these top 10 (sometimes top 25 or top 50) lists, so stay tuned.

10. "Strawberry Fields Forever"

Lennon sings about how "living is easy with eyes closed" in this lyrical wonder-wall. While it's nothing to get hung about, Strawberry Fields is a musical wonder and a joy to listen to, psychedelically classical and epically colorful.

9. "Something"

Ringo gives the performance of his life in a music video accompanying a fountain of romance and doubt with a smooth melody and wonderful Harrison guitar solo.

8. "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

A song so influential Shatner covered it and they named a caveman after it, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds is a perfectly confusing and mind-blowingly creative song with underlying messages of all sorts that don't even need to be analyzed to know that Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is a roller-coaster of an emotional masterpiece.

7. "I've Got a Feeling"

A feeling deep inside told me to put this on the list. Better than the Black Eyed Peas' average party hit, I've Got a Feeling is awesome, plain and simple. Everybody had a bad year, but everybody had a good time, according to Lennon, and McCartney "has a feeling". None of this really matters, however, because the song is so brilliant in it's simplicity and its excellent guitar playing.

6. "Revolution"

An anthem so rocking, so rolling, and so communist-trolling that it couldn't be left out of the list, Revolution was the choice for my 8th grade music video project, and I have no regrets. Everything is always gonna be alright in rock-and-roll as long as Revolution is there to guide musicians with it's pristine guitar solos and sheer capacity for multimedia productions.

5. "I Want You (She's So Heavy)"

The Beatles' heaviest song is also their most simplistic- the same 14 words repeated over practically the same (save the odd solo) guitar work for almost seven minutes. The song fundamentally should fail due to its banality, but it succeeds because what little it gives it gives so fruitfully. It is long and winding, tumultuous and addictive, a song that proves the musical integrity of the Beatles with no want of color.

4. "Come Together"

The perfect accompaniment to a "shoot of coca-cola", Come Together is funky, political, crazy, calming, angering, delighting, enlightening, meaningful, meaningless, and brilliant before it even starts playing. A gigantically fantastic song, Come Together is the most head-bangable of all of the Beatles' songs, and a true example of just how well the Beatles worked together, even under pressure (although that list is for another time).

3. "Hey Jude"

A lengthy ballad about love and optimism, Hey Jude is one of the most well-remembered Beatles songs and is the one of the most hackneyed due to being overplayed. Still, Hey Jude continues to be a classic, a thoroughly enjoyable song with the greatest tangent in music history.

2. "A Day in the Life"

A lyrical giant, musical dragon, and a conveyor belt of amazement, A Day in the Life is the greatest Lennon-McCartney coalition- it is soothing, moving, grooving, and, most importantly, great to listen to. Lennon sings softly of his aloof live experiences, and half way through McCartney bursts in with a spectacle of upbeat psychedelia, only to be replaced again by Lennon. The exuberant song ends with a lengthy musical tornado and a combination of a dozen booming pianos.

1. "I am the Walrus"

I am the Walrus is sheer brilliance. It is musically entertaining, with roaring violin and Ringo's thumping drums. It doesn't need a message to bring across it's musical euphoria- in fact Lennon wrote the song to confuse song analysts (including his old music teacher). This song of the upmost trollery is my favorite because it is simple and complicated, random and robust, angry and happy. It is sheer quality, a song that never gets old listening to. This song's case for being my #1 is definitely not unassisted by the fact that my favorite band, Oasis, made a superb cover of the song. I am the Egg-man, they are the Egg-men, I am the Walrus!

MUSIC: The Top 10 Songs of 2011

Musically, 2011 was moderately good. It was a year of rises and returns, breakthroughs and breakups. My favorite band, Oasis, split apart and created two equally impressive bands- Liam Gallagher's raw Beady Eye and Noel Gallagher's reserved High Flying Birds. Adele was most impressive, stunning with a phenomenal album and topping both of Rolling Stone's best of the year (albums and songs) lists. The Beastie Boys and The Red Hot Chili Peppers both made fantastic comebacks, with innovative yet faithful musical adventures, and the radically annoying yet interestingly moving Dub-step genre was processed. NicePeter successfully continued his Epic Rap Battles Series, bringing it to new comedic heights and prepping for  Season 2 coming soon, and The Lonely Island's "Turtle Neck and Chain" album was mightily entertaining. Without further ado, here are the 10 best songs of 2011 in my opinion.

Honorable Mentions:
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, "Everybody's on the Run"
Leslie David Baker, "2 Be Simple"
The Lonely Island, "Jack Sparrow"


10. Alex S. ft. Ghost, "Melting Pot of Alcohol"

The only dubstep song of the year that I liked was also the funniest, combining the atrocity of Friendship is Magic with the creativity of the internet  and the hilarity that is the Texas radio host Ghost, a racist "not-a-racist" whose trolling has been some of the funniest in internet history. Alex S' spectacular dub-step combine with the violent southern accent of Ghost to create a captivating ballad for the ages.

9. The Lonely Island, "Threw it on the Ground"

Andy Sandberg's outrageously funny yet surprisingly clean raging vocal fable melted together rants against "the system" and outbursts against the fundamental objects of life- objects to be thrown violently onto the ground. Unrefined, Sandberg goes on a devastating rampage, spanking the ground with cakes, phones, hotdogs, and a plethora of other objects. Eventually, however, the story is moralized- Sandberg is tazed by "Hollywood phonies" Ryan Reynolds and Elijah Wood- after rejecting an autograph they didn't even offer.

8. Beady Eye, "The Roller"

Liam Gallagher's solo endeavor was a nostalgic one, combining the feel-good effervescence of the Beatles with the somewhat youthful and punkish tone of Liam's side of Oasis. The Roller has the feel of a Lennon song (in fact the melody is from a Lennon song), with a beautifully old-fashioned music video with a hint of futurism. While Liam's songwriting is not in the same league as that of his brother Noel, "The Roller" proves his melodic intuition and his sheer lust for rock and roll.

7. Coldplay, "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"

Coldplay had a sort of rebirth this year with the shockingly original Mylo Xyloto album. The album's main single, an uplifting tune of the grace of music screamed above a blissful guitar, is creative and effective, and will undoubtedly become an arena anthem for young people to scream for years to come.

6. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, "The Death of You and Me"

The second half of Oasis, Noel Gallagher presented an outstanding new album this year, my personal favorite album of the year, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds. A promising start to the child band of Oasis, The High Flying Birds' album proves just how fundamentally different Noel and Liam were in Oasis. Calm, joyful, orchestral, and quietly loud, Noel's band is the superior of the two in both songwriting and sheer listenability. "The Death of You and Me" presents a somewhat familiar Noel song- but one that spearheads the superb album and brings out Noel's true inner ability.

5. SuperHeavy, "Miracle Worker"

The most pretentious and the most courageous song of the year, "Miracle Worker" is a spectacle of true brilliance. The outrageous Mick Jagger (the only man with moves like himself, by the way), the delighting David "Brother Gong" Marley and the powerful Joss Stone combine with the musical greats A.R. Rahman and Dave Stewart to produce a single of monumental soul. Jagger screams of how his "love laser" will "regenerate your heart" in this funky reggae hit that is certainly not just a gimmick.

4. Foster the People, "Pumped Up Kicks"

A pop anthem with a disturbing underlying message, "Pumped Up Kicks" is a seemingly happy song when listened to by those who don't realize its about youth violence. This should stay this way, as the nascent group Foster the People have created an ecstatic song that works auditory wonders with its innocent simplicity and brilliant tune.

3. Beastie Boys, "Make Some Noise"

Who'd have thought that old people could rap? Well, at least the Beastie Boys can. In their first vocal single for a while, the Beastie Boys spit out some intense rhymes over a star-studded music video of unmatched swag. The Beastie Boys yell at their followers to "party for the (...) right to fight" while practically listing reasons why they are the best rappers in town. And rightly so.

2. Adele, "Rolling in the Deep"




By far the strongest female singer on the scene today, Adele and her utterly fantastic "Rolling in the Deep" make all of the other female singles (Lady Gaga, etc.) look (and sound) like they are literally rolling in the derp. A beautiful voice screaming lyrics of nuclear anger and powerful perfection, "Rolling in the Deep" is a true ballad for our time. The Thornberry remix might just have it beat, though.

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie"

Overcoming the remarkable Adele, hilarious Beastie Boys, and both sides of Oasis, the Chili Peppers, minus the legendary guitarist John Fruciante and plus a new level of spirit, have released the best song of the year- a rockin' guitar anthem of meticulous funk and a moustachin' beat. By far the most entertaining song of the year. 

BOOK REVIEW- Life by Keith Richards

"Life", the autobiography by Keith Richards, guitarists of the rolling stones, is an eye-opening and revealing novel recommended to anybody who is a fan of the Rolling Stones or likes rock music. Written with the assistance of journalist James Fox, Life brilliantly describes the hilarious, dangerous, and extremely musical antics of Richards and the Stones, and masterfully details great stories of love, friendship, and Richards' addiction to music (as well as drugs). Richards includes stories of his troubled childhood, when his grandfather was his best friend, up to the formation of the stones, and to his life today. He lists the many important people in his life- the dozens Stones members over the years, and his many musical friends. Each chapter is around 50 pages long, concluding in a 545-page novel filled with interesting tales. His great sense of humor shows, and the good grammar insinuates Fox's work on the book. An all-round amazing novel, Life is a must-read, recommended for anyone who likes rock n roll music.

Pros:

• Great anecdotes and stories of Richards' Life
• Well-edited, no grammar mistakes (Fox's work, surely)
• Hilarious throughout and eye-opening of how good a man Richards really is
• Superb insight into the world of rock n roll
• Increases one's love of the Stones' music

Cons:

• Not appropriate for younger readers
• Some chapters can drag on a bit